


You can't blame gravity (for falling in love)

by tinyarmedtrex



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: During the War, M/M, One Shot, lots of feelings and unasked questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 23:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyarmedtrex/pseuds/tinyarmedtrex
Summary: Remus refuses to ride on Sirius' bike, not because of the bike but because of the man operating it.





	You can't blame gravity (for falling in love)

“Come on Moony, go on a ride with me. It’ll be fun.” Sirius said, draping himself dramatically over his bike and giving Remus his best puppy dog eyes.

But Remus would not be swayed. He shook his head. “I’m not getting in that death machine. Especially not in the side compartment.” He repeated for the third time that night.

Ever since Sirius had bought the contraption he’d been trying to get everyone to ride in it. James had, unsurprisingly, agreed immediately, leaving Peter and Remus to watch as the machine slowly sputter to life and fly off, the boys whooping as they disappeared into the sky. The pair had come back hours later, with windblown hair, laughing about all the birds they’d almost hit. They’d told stories about it for weeks after, both saying only a few words before dissolving into laughter. Remus had been jealous, like he always was with them. The two had a painfully easy camaraderie, always laughing and joking together. Lately it felt like Sirius didn’t even want to be in the same room as him. 

Lily had been the next to agree- likely because she didn’t want to hear about it all summer if she refused. Their ride had been shorter but, from the sound of it after, no less fun. Apparently they’d flown just above the tree tops, waving at confused muggle picnickers before dashing back up into the sky. 

Surprisingly Peter had been the next to agree. It had taken several more weeks but eventually all the teasing from James and Sirius had gotten to him and he’d agreed, pulling on a helmet and crawling into the passenger seat. He’d come back looking rather green and swearing up and down that his feet were never leaving the Earth again. But still, he’d done it. 

That left Remus as the only one who hadn’t flown, despite Sirius’ constant attempts. He continued to refuse no matter how much they teased or cajoled him. It wasn’t because he was scared of the machine like James thought (though he swore that it wasn’t up to code) or because he was worried about vomiting as Peter claimed (he was sure that was because Peter had thrown up and didn’t want to be the only one). 

It was because of this strange thing that was happening between him and Sirius. Something had been brewing for a long time, years if he was being honest. There had always been something between them- overly long looks and lingering touches that Remus didn’t share with the other Marauders. Little acts that added up to something bigger. He’d liked Sirius for years but had never acted on it, too worried about their friendship and convinced that Sirius would never feel the same. He’d dated other people but it never worked out. Then, in 6th year, Sirius had stopped his constant galavanting and flirting and had become more focused. It wasn’t anything direct but Remus felt the shift. Sirius was around him more, he started playing wizarding chess with Peter instead of going out. Or, when they did go to parties, he never strayed far from Remus, the two of them ending up in a corner, whispering about the music choices. 

It both enthralled and terrified Remus. He’d wanted this for so long, this new relationship with Sirius, but he also didn’t know what it meant. Because they hadn’t talked about it and Remus had been trying to avoid being alone with Sirius because he knew if they were alone that he wouldn’t be able to push down these feelings, not like he could when they were in a group. 

Remus wanted something to happen so much that he felt frozen in place. The next step could change everything and he didn’t know if he was ready for all that. Not when there were so many other changes going on in the world. They were growing up and Voldemort was on the rise, along with his forces. All of them had recently graduated and were trying to find their places, James and Lily were getting a flat in London, wanting to stay near the action. Sirius was trying to convince Remus and Peter to do the same, that all of them should live together. But that was another terrifying thing. The thought of waking up in the same place as Sirius. Or, worse, the thought of waiting up for him when he went on missions, he knew there would be many sleepless night no matter where he lived. 

The thought of living with Sirius reminded him of all the unanswered questions that existed between the two of them and that, eventually, they would need to talk. They were friends, they couldn’t have this much tension between them for forever. But Remus wasn’t sure that now was the right time to start something, not with so much in flux. He thought that they should wait until after the war to start something, lest it impact their missions or judgement. It wasn’t a good idea. They needed to be focused and Remus couldn’t do that if the option to kiss Sirius was on the table. He knew that. 

At least that was what he told himself until he saw Sirius’ dark eyes or wily smile. Both were enough to make him forget all of his well intentioned plans. 

Sirius was still staring at him, his eyes slightly hurt by Remus’ refusal even though he’d never say it. Peter was watching both of them and abruptly said, “I’m going in now.” Then he turned on his heel and left. Normally Remus would be following him, trying to avoid the awkwardness of being alone with Sirius but a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist before he could. 

“Moony.” 

Against his better judgment he turned to Sirius. Sirius was good at that, at convincing Remus to do things that he knew he shouldn’t, to give into that part of him that he kept hidden. Already his heart was beating faster even though Peter was barely 20 feet away.

“Padfoot.” 

Sirius took a half step towards him, watching for any sign that Remus may pull away. It was like he knew that if he moved too quickly or said too much that Remus would leave. Remus hated that he was right. He was skittish around the other man, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. Being around Sirius made him nervous because he didn’t know what to expect, from either of them. 

“Go on a ride with me.” He asked, as seriously as Remus had ever seen him. His thumb found Remus’ pulse point, pressing cautiously into his skin. Remus wondered if Sirius could feel how fast his heart was beating. 

He swallowed and shook his head. 

“Why not?”

“You’re a terrible driver.” He lied and Sirius chuckled, taking another small step towards him. They were close enough that he could smell Sirius -cologne mixed with summer wind. It was intoxicating. 

“You’ll give in eventually Moony. I’ll be ready when you do.” 

He wasn’t sure if Sirius was talking about the bike or them. 

“Padfoot, I can’t. You know that.”

He wasn’t sure if he was talking about the bike or them. 

Sirius sighed, dropping his wrist and stepping back. He looked so disappointed that Remus nearly gave in then. But he couldn’t. He waited for Sirius to speak. “Let’s go back inside. I’m sure the others are waiting for us.” 

They walked in together and Remus couldn’t help but wonder if he made the right choice. His head said yes but the rest of his screamed no. 

The next few weeks passed quickly. Everyone was wrapped in Order business, going on missions and gathering as much information about Voldemort and his followers as they could. There wasn’t much time for Remus to see his friends outside of the meetings where they’d exchange tired hellos and goodbyes. He’d taken to sleeping on Lily and James’ couch, it was easier than trying to floo back home and he was too tired to apparate correctly. 

He couldn’t tell if they were winning. It seemed like the youngest members were also the least informed. People were reluctant to explain the big picture, worried that those in the field could get captured and tortured at any time. It made sense but it also frustrated him to not know if he what was doing mattered, if the information he was collecting was getting to the right people.

It all came to a head when, months after graduation, Alice and Frank Longbottom nearly died. They were on a mission, Remus wasn’t exactly sure what. Something about acquiring an important object before it fell into enemy’s hands. They had gotten the object but were chased after, resulting in a duel of sorts. They both lived but were hit by several curses. They couldn’t be taken to St. Mungos because it would raise too many questions. They were currently holed up at a safe house, recovering.

Everyone was informed at the weekly meetings, the report delivered as dryly as it could be. Remus was sure that it was a lot worse than Dumbledore made it sound. He was trying to be cavalier but Remus could see how tense he was. Alice and Frank had barely survived and the same- or worse- could happen to any of them. It was their first big loss, and it happened to his friends. He didn’t want to think about what else would happen in the following months, who they would lose. 

As the meeting ended Sirius caught his eye, probably thinking the same thing. Remus waited for everyone else to leave before walking over to Sirius. For the first time, he noticed how tired he looked. He looked like a man in his forties instead of eighteen. Remus was sure he didn’t look much better. Weeks of constant travel and sleeping on a couch were catching up with him. He hadn’t let himself think about it but now, staring at someone in the same position as him, it was impossible to ignore.

“Bonkers isn’t it.” Sirius said, leaning against a desk. “Frank and Alice, they’re some of the best.” 

“Could be us next.” Remus said. What he thought was ‘ _ Could be you next _ ’. It made his stomach churn. 

“Do you want to quit? We could run away together, change our names and become dragon tamers.” 

The thought of being somewhere far away with Sirius was tempting, especially as he offered Remus one of his patented wolvish grins. Even though he knew Sirius was kidding he entertained the thought, just for a moment. 

“We’d be terrible dragon tamers.” He said eventually. 

Sirius nodded. “What do you want to do then?”

Remus looked at him. Sirius was leaning against the desk, making himself somehow even more lanky than usual. His hip bones stuck out under his black shirt and Remus had to stop himself from reaching out to touch him.

“Let’s go for a drive.” 

The effect was immediate. Sirius’ whole face lit up and he asked, “Really?” 

Remus nodded. “Take me away Padfoot.” 

He stood, reaching for Remus’ hand. “Happily.” Remus let Sirius pull him along, enjoying the way his hand in Sirius’. His heart was beating rapidly and he wasn’t sure if it was the fact that he was climbing into Sirius’ motorcycle or because he was alone with Sirius. Either way, he couldn’t stop a grin from spreading on his face. 

“Here she is, my baby.” Sirius said, stopping in front of his bike. Remus swore it was in even worse shape than last time, more dents and paint had flecked off. He wondered what type of missions Remus had been sent on. They never talked about them, either because they didn’t want to relive it or because neither wanted to scare the other.

Sirius swung a leg over the seat, sitting down and looking at Remus. “Do you want to ride in the side car? Or-” He paused.

“Or?”

“You can ride behind me.” He offered. “Hang on to me as we fly.”

Remus hadn’t seen anyone riding behind Sirius, the idea hadn’t even occurred to him but it sounded much better than riding in the side car. “I’ll go behind you.” He said, walking over and swinging his leg over as well. Then he leaned into Sirius, his cheek resting on Sirius’ leather jacket as he breathed in the smell of Sirius. 

“Ready?” 

“Ready.” He confirmed, snaking his hands around Sirius’ waist. He tried not to think about how this was the closest they’d been in weeks, months, or how reckless this was. Instead he focused on the night sky and how they rose to meet it. The stars seemed so much closer this way. He felt the chill in the air and quickly cast a spell to keep them both warm. Sirius muttered a thanks. 

Remus wasn’t sure where they were going but he was content to let Sirius decide. He just watched as they flew across rooftops and eventually to open fields. He let himself relax into Sirius, enjoying just being with him, even if they couldn’t speak. It had been a long time since he’d just existed, not worrying about missions or funds or everything else. It was nice. They flew for a long time, long enough that Remus felt himself going numb from sitting. 

Then, finally, he felt Sirius lowering the bike. They were just outside a small town, Remus had seen the lights as they flew over it. They touched down on a grassy patch and Sirius dismounted. Remus tried but his muscles screamed in protest.

“Let me help you.” Sirius said, laughing at Remus’ stiffness. “It’s hard the first time.” He took Remus’ hands and helped him off. Remus still managed to trip and fall into Sirius’ broad chest. Sirius’ arms wrapped around him and Remus made the mistake then of looking up into his eyes instead of moving back. They were warm and full of love and unasked questions. “Moony-” He started but Remus stepped back, brushing himself off.

“Why here?” He asked, looking around. They were alone, far from the city. The stars shone brightly and it was quiet. Remus didn’t know the last time he’d been surrounded by so much silence.

“I like it.” Sirius replied, stepping next to him. “Being here, I can almost forget about the war. This place is untouched by it, it doesn’t care about our missions or if we succeed or fail. The grass and the stars, they’ll be here regardless. And that’s nice? It’s nice to be reminded that the rest of the world is still turning.” 

Remus nodded slowly, understanding what Sirius meant. It was nice, to be somewhere where no one would ask him about strategy or combat spells. The only thing here was the occasional hoot of an owl and them.

He turned, watching as Sirius produced a blanket from the bike and laid it down. “Sit with me?” He asked and Remus nodded, laying next to Sirius, their shoulders touching. He felt the Sirius’ hand graze his, lightly touching the back of his own. 

They laid there, not speaking, for a long time. It was the first time in a long time that Remus had let himself relax, not worrying about if he or his friends would survive tomorrow. He let himself simply exist. 

Then Sirius moved, rolling onto his side and looking at Remus. “The moon seems even bigger out here.”

Remus glanced at it, the sliver of the moon in the sky, and nodded. He’d always hated the moon for what it did to him but out here it seemed so innocent, casting a subtle light on them and everything else. He wondered if that’s what other people saw when they looked at it. 

When he looked back at Sirius the other man was watching him intently, propped up on an elbow. Not letting himself think he reached for Sirius, cupping his cheek with his palm. Sirius’ eye half closed as he leaned into the touch. Sirius cheek was cool under his hand and Remus was overwhelmed with want and desire. This was exactly why he never let himself be alone with Sirius, it was too tempting, too hard to be this close to him. But he had known how this would end when he asked to ride with Sirius, he’d wanted this. 

“Moons,” Sirius said softly. It wasn’t phrased as a question but Remus knew it was meant as one. He nodded and Sirius bent down, pressing their lips together. It felt like he was on fire, every nerve was alight. Their lips slotted together and it was like they were made for this, made to be connected in this way. Sirius’ hand came down, resting on his hip and Remus had to stop himself from pulling Sirius onto him and snogging him until dawn. 

Sirius kept the kiss light, pulling back after a beat and smiling at him. Remus immediately wanted to pull him back, to kiss him more. 

“Wanted to do that for a long time.”

“I’ve wanted you to for even longer.” It didn’t feel like admitting anything, it was just a fact, one they had both probably known for a long time. 

“What now?” 

Part of Remus wanted to protest having the decision on his shoulders. For once, he didn’t want to be the practical one, the one who thought things through, who weighed all the pros and cons. He just wanted to kiss his best friend and forget. 

But that wasn’t Remus. And Sirius knew that. That was why he asked him, why he wanted Remus to make the decision.

“The war.” He said, running a hand through Sirius’ hair. The other man nodded. “We’re on missions, we could die. I can’t-” He swallowed. “I can’t be as effective if I’m thinking about you.” He ignored the fact that he’d still be thinking about Sirius even if they weren’t together. 

Sirius nodded, like he’d always know that that would be his answer. “What about after?”

“After the war?” Another nod. Remus hadn’t let himself think about that, about what he’d do after. It seemed like a fantasy, someone else’s life that he could only glimpse into. But now he could see it, Voldemort defeated and him coming home to Sirius at the end of the day. Maybe they’d get a small flat and a cat. The image made his heart swell. That was something worth fighting for. 

After the war they’d be together. After the war he’d be with Sirius like they both wanted. He’d give into all these feelings and they could simply exist together. This outing was a brief glimpse into that life, a promise of what they could have. After. 

Outloud he simply said, “Yes.” 

**Author's Note:**

> trying to get back into writing these two! I've missed them.


End file.
